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Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere


Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:01
Tags: News Room comedy funny onion satire cnn breaking news bullshit

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Are We Giving Robots Too Much Power?


Panelists discuss whether controversial decisions by the Robot Congress and President Executron indicate robots have too much control over our lives. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:05
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Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election


Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:30
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Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'


Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:31
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Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys


Repeatedly stabbing monkeys with sharpened objects may have an adverse effect on their health, according to a new study. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:00:34
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'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film


Fans are worried that the feature film adaptation of the beloved trailer won't live up to the original 90-second story's vision. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:21.500
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Obama Win Causes Obsessed Backers To See How Empty Lives Are


The revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly, unsure of what to do with themselves.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:24
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'9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous' - Al Qaeda


An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the US government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:23.500
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Sources Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013


Unless Americans turn to alternative sources of entertainment, the 'Hannah Montana' star will soon be completely tapped out.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:14
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Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?


With the economy sliding deeper into a recession, panelists discuss whether it's time to stop throwing our money into a massive pit out in the desert.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:02.500
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'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat'


Gen. McBrayer discusses how valuable homosexuals are, and why we must never put their lives at risk by allowing them in the military. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:00:55.500
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Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard


The MacBook Wheel lets consumers accomplish everyday tasks like typing with just a few dozen spins and clicks of a wheel.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:23
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The Onion Movie Trailer


This just in...The Onion invades DVD! Based on the wildly popular satirical newspaper hailed by The New Yorker as "the funniest publication in the United States," The Onion Movie brings you uncensored
Category: Comedy
Length: 00:00:52.500
Tags: onion movie dvd trailer britney spears cock puncher cockpuncher melissa cherry

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Booker T the MG's - green onions - mod classic 60s


Booker T the MG's - green onions - mod classic 60s
Category: People & Blogs
Length: 00:01:41
Tags: Booker the mg's green onions mod classic 60s

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Obama Vows To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas


In an appeal to working class voters, Barack Obama claimed his economic plan would save millions of backbreaking, mind-numbing shitty jobs.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:13
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Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'


Long time fans of the Star Trek franchise say JJ Abrams' enjoyable, engaging prequal betrays what Star Trek is all about.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:11
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New Apple Friend Bar Gives Customers Someone To Talk At About Mac Products


Tech Trends' Jeff Tate explains the new service that pairs insufferable Apple customers with "friends" that will listen to them rattle on for hours.
Category: Comedy
Length: 00:01:27.500
Tags: comedy onion satire apple friend bar macbook wheel steve jobs iphone ipad tech trends gadgets

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COCO Y LOLA: the onion


www.cocoylola.com
Category: People & Blogs
Length: 00:01:20
Tags: the onio peq coco lola cocoylola blog chicas guapas chicasguapas

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Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 08 Election


Embarrassed Diebold officials apologized after one of their electronic voting machines prematurely revealed the winner of our upcoming sham election. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:22
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Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat


Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:00:49.500
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New Google Phone Service Whispers Targeted Ads Directly Into Users' Ears


The new feature reduces Google phone users' cell phone costs while providing them with unobtrusive, personalized ads delivered in a friendly whisper.
Category: Comedy
Length: 00:01:21.500
Tags: comedy funny onion google android iphone apple tech trends technology

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Truck Accident That Killed Rafters in Canyon Sparks Truck-Canyon-Rafter Reform Debate


In The Know panelists discuss yesterday's truck accident, and why nothing was done to prevent the vehicle from accidentally spiraling out of control and killing rafters in canyon below.
Category: Comedy
Length: 00:01:20
Tags: comedy funny onion in the know satire

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Fat Kid Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt


Today Now! brings you the inspiring story of Brian Peete, a fat boy who hid his obesity from other children at the pool by keeping his shirt on. More coverage at: www.onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:13
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Overcome Stress By Visualizing It As A Greedy, Hook-Nosed Race Of Creatures


On Today Now!, author Christine Eckard teaches Jim and Tracy to imagine economic problems as oily, curly-haired "Grabblers."
Category: Comedy
Length: 00:01:19.500
Tags: comedy funny onion satire

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Warcraft Sequel Lets You Play A Character Playing Warcraft


World Of World Of Warcraft's amazing level of detail makes players feel like they are actually in a cramped, dark apartment playing World Of Warcraft. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:29.500
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McCain Left On Campaign Bus Overnight


Campaign officials downplayed the incident, saying the senator was fine as soon as he was fed and taken to the bathroom.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:19.500
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How to Chop an Onion


Onions can lend a sweet distinct undertone to many soups, sauces, and stews. For more great videos check out: www.goodhousekeeping.com More from the World of Good Housekeeping: www.goodhousekeeping.co
Category: Education
Length: 00:00:28.500
Tags: onion chop cut chopping food cooking

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World Premiere Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 - The Onion


Name: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Release date: November 10, 2009 Platform(s): PC, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 Publisher(s): Activision Blizzard Developer(s): Infinity Ward
Category: Gaming
Length: 00:01:21.500
Tags: Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 cod:MW2 MW2 cod6 Modern Warfare 3 cod:MW3 MW3 cod7 World Premiere The Onion Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Features Awaiting Orders Repairing Trucks PC playstation 3 Xbox 360 Activision Blizzard Infinity Ward 2009 Game Games Gaming gamerspawn GS

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Blockbuster Offers Glimpse Of Movie Renting Past


The Blockbuster Video Living Museum offers tourists a glimpse of how Americans rented movies before the advent of services like Netflix and iTunes. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:04
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Army Holds Annual Bring Your Daughter To War Day


Girls between the ages of 8 and 14 spent the day helping their parents fight insurgents and defuse mines. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:00:37
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Onion Moon Landing


The Moon Landing with swearing. Lots of swearing
Category: Comedy
Length: 00:01:25
Tags: Onion Moon Apollo Space Swearing

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Annoying Orange: The Onion Ring


Four friends watch the cursed Onion Ring tape. Now the Annoying Orange is after them. THE ONION RING SHIRT: annoyingorange.spreadshirt.com TWITTER twitter.com FACEBOOK: facebook.com DAILYBOOTH: dailyb
Category: Comedy
Length: 00:02:09.500
Tags: annoying orange the onion ring spoof cursed tape ringu scary movie funny daneboe gagfilms

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How to Charge an iPod using electrolytes and an onion


In this episode we show you how to charge your iPod (or other mp3 player) for up to 20 minutes using electrolytes derived from Gatorade or Powerade which are then stored within the cells of an onion.
Category: Howto & Style
Length: 00:01:42.500
Tags: charge ipod with electrolytes and onion howto hacks hack tech house hold household hacker

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Incredibly Sexy Firefighter Tragically Dies In Steamy Blaze


Jim and Tracy welcome fallen firefighter Logan Norelli's wife on Today NOW! for a special tribute to a true American hero and total smokin' hottie.
Category: Comedy
Length: 00:01:16
Tags: comedy funny onion satire death sexy firefighter men

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FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful


Made by Pfizer, Despondex is the first drug designed to treat the symptoms of excessive perkiness.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:03.500
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The Beatles Glass Onion


"Glass Onion" videoclip The warlus was Paul Made by Damián Aleman www.youtube.com
Category: Music
Length: 00:01:17.500
Tags: The Beatles White Album Glass Onion John Lennon Paul mccartney I am walrus Strawberry Fields Forever Fool Hill

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Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation


Today Now! has the story of an 8-year-old whose demand for never-ending wish fulfillment may force the Make-A-Wish Foundation to shut down. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:12
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Anonymous Hero Donates Hospital 200 Human Kidneys


Hospital officials hope to locate the good Samaritan that dropped off a sack of human organs in the middle of the night so they can thank him. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:00:36
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Diet Book Author Advocates New 'No Food Diet'


Today Now! talks with a diet book author who reveals that many things are surprisingly edible when you are driven mad by hunger. More coverage at: onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:44.500
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All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash


Breaking News, officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart. More coverage at: www.onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:30
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Ninja Parade Slips By Town Unnoticed Once Again


Modesto, CA residents turned out for the city's annual Ninja Parade, where no ninjas were seen for the 30th year in a row. More coverage at: www.onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:00:30
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NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: Drive Fast


On the eve of the Sears Classic 500, legendary NASCAR coach Dan Amon shares his strategy for driving really fast in circles. More coverage at: www.onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:20
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Gifted Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad


In this installment of Beyond The Facts, a precocious 8-year-old girl participates in grown-up politics by spreading smears and lies.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:22
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Prague's Kafka International Named Most Alienating Airport


Business Week ranked the airport last in customer satisfaction due to long delays, bureaucratic employees, and overall oppressive atmosphere.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:13
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Onion Pakoda


Onion Pakoda (Onion Bhaje) is a mouth watering indian snack. It is used as a strater snack in most indian parties and large meals. It goes with imli chutney
Category: Howto & Style
Length: 00:03:05
Tags: onion pakoda pakora bajji snack indian cuisine cooking recipe vahchef vahrehvah sanjay thumma evening how to make andhra

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Is The Government Spying On Schizophrenics Enough?


In The Know: Panelists discuss ways to care for the nation's paranoid schizophrenics, such as hiding cameras in their homes or audio transmitters in their ears. More coverage at: www.onion.com
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:09.500
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Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women


Women Deserve Better says PETA abuses defenseless, simple-minded women by forcing them to remove their clothing and participate in humiliating...
Category: Shows
Length: 00:01:09.500
Tags: News Room Business

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Sean Price - Onion Head Feat. Tek (UNCENSORED)


Sean Peeeeeeeee
Category: Music
Length: 00:01:27.500
Tags: sean price onion head monkey bars 9th wonder

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Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever


The Chinese government explained that the fatal disease is caused by the excitement of the Olympics, not infected birds, as was previously reported.
Category: Shows
Length: 00:00:49
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Onion Samosa


Samosa is an Indian deep fried spicy snack usually served with tea . In India we can see numerous varieties of samosas. The famous ones are made by the ...
Category: People & Blogs
Length: 00:02:24.500
Tags: onion samosa pakora snack pakoda Indian food recipe bajji baked pastry how to make cook vahchef sanjaythumma

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